home from the holidays with lessons learned

christmas went well. eve was spent with my family and day was spent with daniel's mother's. it was all pretty well low key, i adore being with my parents. they're just a hoot and always fun to be with. we did few gifts this year, not sure i liked that. i hate to sound cliche' but it really is more in the giving than receiving. i love to shop for people, finding what i think someone would enjoy. thats the fun part. but you know what isn't the fun part??????? being badgered. every time i go home, every day i'm there its "jessica do you need clothes?" (because apparently i don't have the good sense to buy for myself) "are you and daniel doing ok?" (monetarily, quite personal but apparently fine for aunts and grandmothers to ask) and the incessant passive guilt trips (for not living in maryville) that people think i can't/don't pick up on, and then wonder why i'm not home more often. i know we're only three hours away but when you have a life, home, friends, job and did i mention life its just far enough to be a hassle. my mother and father handle it better than everyone else and its in this that i learn a lesson. the last day we were there my mother took me out to lunch. over our meal i vented to her all that is written above. her response i really took to heart. she said that of course she'd love to see me more often, what mother wouldn't, but the fact that we don't come home every other weekend tells her that we're happy. a simple statement but if you thinking about it, doesn't that prove that she and my father not only did they're job, but exceeded at it? they were able to raise a happy, healthy, independent and productive member of society. allow me to toot my parents horn for them. my parents wanted me to be able to take care of myself, to never be needy and always take responsibility and never be co-dependent. no matter how far away i am i will always be connected to my parents because of the lessons they taught me and i would go to the ends of the earth for them. they know that, and respect (and agree) that i needn't be in they're back yard to prove it. all my mother vocalized was she knows i'm happy, but what she said spoke volumes. that one small conversation sparked so many realizations that i can't begin to dictate into a blog and making a list is just too...well for lack of a better word common. i have loving parents and knowing this makes me free.